It can be Machine Learning or Calculus. It can be old class notes. It could even be my own writing from my diaries or notebooks. When it comes to returning to old, forgotten knowledge, I have some kind of aversion towards looking back and re-learning what I have forgotten.
Perhaps it is because I believe I should not have forgotten it, since forgetting information feels bad, having to expend more energy for re-learning it somehow feels worse. It gives a feeling of “why bother”.
But re-learning isn’t like learning from scratch. You learn much quicker, as there is mostly recall and remembering what you already know that is involved. So there is only the false belief that it is wasted energy that is the cause of this aversion.
We are human, and for the time being must accept that connections between neurons might not be strong enough to hold without re-visiting a few more times as time goes on. It only strengthens you. It never weakens you.
There is also the part of you which desires speed, to be done with it all. However, learning does not occur that way, it requires patience. Over-stressing prevents new connections from forming, so don’t over-sweat it.
Lastly, wasting too much time in creating an ideal systematic approach to a problem to the point that the problem is never actually addressed. Over-analysis, over-categorising over-cleaning. This thought is usually a cover to actually not think about the problem directly. Instead of reading old/new notes trying to learn and remember, you spend time trying to devise the most ideal plan to approach all learning, which in itself a nearly impossible task. The only real guideline is to learn as much about the answers to the what, why, and how of what you desire to learn.
Observing without involving emotionally loaded thoughts are also important. Never assume evil. Only the usual foolishness expected of humankind.
As cliche as it may sound, accepting your current state is important to advance from it. No need to dwell on the past or feel like “you must do X or Y or Z” and calling yourself an idiot if you fail to do something. This thinking was formed due to prolonged exposure to your mum and dad’s perspective of work, studying, etc. You are doing well, keeping it up is what will actually help you.
Very slow piano music can help relax you. Some examples: